Somatic sex education is hands-on, consent-based learning about your body, your pleasure, and your boundaries. I offer it in Lisbon through Body as Home, in person and online, for individuals and couples. A first session runs 1 to 1.5 hours and combines conversation, breath, and, only if you choose it, touch. This guide explains what happens, who it’s for, and how to tell whether it fits you.
By Dr. Liz Ray, certified somatic sex educator and intimacy coach at Body as Home
Why did I become a somatic sex educator in Lisbon?
I am an American expat living in Lisbon. I did not plan a career in sexuality. For decades my work was the body seen through movement. I was a professional dancer, a master yoga teacher, an expressive arts therapist, and a teaching artist in schools. I launched and directed my own dance company, started my own yoga studio, and spent a decade teaching at universities.
Then my decades-long marriage ended. That divorce sent me on a journey of sexual healing, and along the way I found sexology. I turned toward sexuality deliberately, and I have not looked back.
Looking at it now, the move was less of a break than it seemed. I had spent my life seeing the body as a vehicle for artistic expression and technique. Sexual healing showed me the body as a place where spiritual healing can happen, and where fuller sexual agency is possible. That is why my somatic sex education practice carries so much of my dance, yoga, and expressive arts background. If you work with me, you will feel that influence. I care about creative play, self-love, and conscious practices for growth.
I have also walked a sexual healing path myself. That matters to me, because I know that asking for this kind of help can feel exposed.
Somatic sex education in Lisbon exists because most of us were never taught how our own bodies work, and learning it later is still possible.
What is somatic sex education?
Somatic sex education is an approach to sexual wellness that starts from the body rather than from talk alone. The word “somatic” refers to the body and its whole range of sensation. A somatic sex educator works with anatomy, arousal, desire, and sexual challenges. Some sessions include therapeutic touch, and others use visual and physical guidance over video.
Much of my own work is sexological bodywork, which is where I trained. That training covers genital anatomy, masturbation coaching, and support of erotic energy. My aim is to help you understand your body and find more agency around your sexual health.
I think of it as the education many people never received. Life leaves marks on us: childhood hurts, neglect, shame, painful messages about our bodies. Those experiences shape how confident we feel, and they carry into our sexuality and our ability to open up to other people. Over the years we develop survival patterns that block the fullness of who we are now. We wear masks, hide our desires, and struggle to speak about them.
Talking about those patterns helps some people. Good support in human sexuality also has to deal with the physical side of intimacy, not only the emotional side. That is where somatic work comes in.
I also want to be clear about what this work is not. It is not psychotherapy. I am not a licensed social worker or a marriage and family therapist, so I offer no therapy, psychotherapy, or medical advice.
Who is somatic sex education for?
People come to me from many places. Some arrive with a specific goal and others with a vague sense that something is missing. The reasons I hear most often are these:
| What brings people in | How the work can meet it |
| Feeling disconnected from your body | Grounding, breathwork, and internal focus |
| Shame or negative self-talk around sexual experiences | Compassionate witnessing and honest conversation |
| Painful or boring sex | Education about anatomy and sensation |
| Lost libido or confidence | Reclaiming desire and agency in your own pace |
| Wanting to learn about your erotic body | Vulva mapping, prostate work, masturbation coaching |
| Needing scar treatment after surgery | Pain and numbness work, done with consent-based touch |
| Healing after sexual trauma | A safe, unhurried space where you set the limits |
| Wanting to understand consent and boundaries | Practice with a certified consent facilitator |
| Wanting to build a pleasure practice | Homework and exercises you take home |
I specialize in transitions and age-related challenges. A divorce, a surgery, a new stage of life, or a body that no longer responds the way it once did can all leave people feeling stuck. I love teaching people how to get unstuck and reclaim embodiment where it has gone missing.
Somatic sex education is for anyone who wants to understand their body better, release shame, and feel more at home in their sexuality, whatever their starting point.
What happens in a first somatic sex education session?
Every session has specific objectives and a clear path toward your goals. A typical session includes four parts:
| Step | What it involves |
| 1. Check-in and goal-setting | We talk about where you are and what you want from the work |
| 2. Grounding | Breath and internal focus to settle the body |
| 3. Bodywork and exercises | Practices meant to bring insight and expansion |
| 4. Reflection | We look at what you learned, including from homework |
Sessions usually last between one hour and an hour and a half. They can run longer depending on your goals. Together we build a customized erotic educational plan, and the plan moves in sequence toward healing through education and consent-based touch.
I want to stress the word customized. There is no fixed script. You come as you are, and that is the point. I will not ask you to perform, and you do not need any experience or confidence to begin.
A first session in my Lisbon practice is a structured conversation and body-based exploration, paced by you and guided by clear goals.
Does a somatic sex education session always include touch?
No. This is one of the most common questions I hear, and the answer surprises people. A session may include role-play, breathwork, or discussion with no touch at all. When touch is part of the plan, it is always consent-based.
Here is the range of what a session might include:
| Approach | What it looks like |
| Conversation | Honest discussion, education, and reflection |
| Breathwork | Guided breathing to build awareness and calm |
| Role-play | A way to practice communication and boundaries |
| External genital work | Hands-on education with clear consent |
| Internal genital work | Hands-on work that you choose and agree to |
| Online guidance | Visual and physical direction over video, no touch required |
Some specific practices you may have seen listed on my website deserve a plain explanation. Vulva mapping is an educational practice, and I offer it for enhanced pleasure. Prostate massage can be part of a session, and so can pain or numbness scar treatment. Masturbation coaching is part of my training, and I use it to help people understand their bodies. I also offer specialized sessions on techniques for managing and overcoming premature ejaculation.
None of these is a requirement. You decide what is included, and we can change the plan at any point.
Does sexual exchange happen during a session?
No. Sexual exchange between client and practitioner is not part of sexological bodywork. Sessions focus strictly on your learning and personal integration.
I am often asked whether orgasm can happen. It can, if it arises organically as part of your exploration. But it is not the goal. The point of a session is to track your internal awareness and to practice greater erotic agency throughout your whole body.
People also ask if this work is legal and ethical. It is. Sexological bodyworkers are professionally trained, follow a strict code of ethics, and maintain professional boundaries. The work rests on respect, safety, and client consent.
Sexological bodywork is a structured, educational practice with firm professional boundaries, and sexual exchange is never part of it.
How is somatic sex education different from tantric sessions?
The two overlap, but they are not the same thing. Here is how I explain the difference:
| Sexological bodywork | Tantric massage | |
| Purpose | Therapeutic and educational | Often spiritual or transcendent |
| Structure | Practiced in a structured professional setting | Less structured, with an intuitive flow |
| Best for | Overcoming sexual dysfunction, understanding sensation and boundaries, learning in a safe professional space | Exploring the link between sexuality and energy work in a less formal way |
Neither is better. They serve different needs. If you want clear objectives, education, and a professional container, sexological bodywork is likely the closer fit.
Should I choose in-person or online sessions?
I offer both. In Lisbon I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for issues around relationships and sexuality. You can read more about in-person coaching and online coaching on my website.
| In person | Online | |
| Where | Lisbon | Video call, from your own space |
| Touch | Possible when you consent to it | Not part of online sessions |
| Tools and support | Full range of hands-on work | The same tools for any session that does not require hands-on work |
| Good for | Hands-on education, genital anatomy, scar or pain work | Comfort at home and access from anywhere |
Many people find online sessions just as effective as in-person ones. There is an added benefit, too. You get to be in a space where you already feel comfortable.
I also offer a course for those who want to learn in a different format.
How many sessions will I need?
It depends on your goals. One session can be very beneficial. But if you are trying to change habits or build new skills, I recommend at least four or five sessions so you have time to integrate what you learn.
That recommendation comes from how learning works. A new pattern needs repetition. Homework between sessions gives you time to practice, and each meeting then builds on the last. It is similar to how I taught movement for years: one class can inspire you, but change in the body takes practice.
Somatic sex education works best as a series of sessions, because the body needs time to absorb what it learns.
What have clients said about the experience?
I share a few words from clients, listed by initials as they appear on my site.
One client wrote that the touch and space I create is “gentle, safe, unhurried and deeply relaxing,” and that a first session led to a lot of release (K. R.). Another said the session was both educational and physically satisfying, and that they could use what they learned in solo practice and with a partner (J. S.). A third described how working with me shifted the way they see their body and find pleasure (N. S.).
What ties these together is not a dramatic transformation. It is the gradual sense of safety and understanding that lets people relax into their own bodies.
Who trained me?
Trust matters in this work, so here is my training in full.
| Certification or training | Teacher(s) | Year |
| Certified Breathwork Facilitator, Level 1 | Rio Otoya | 2025 |
| Certified Somatic Sex Educator & Coach | Katie Sarra & Dr. Phoebe Garland, Institute for Relational Harmony Studies | 2024 |
| Certificate in Working with Vaginismus | Dr. Martha Lee | 2024 |
| Prostatic Portal Training | Stine Krage & Assim Sacred Fire | 2023 |
| Somatic Shadow and Circle Work Facilitator Training | Christian Pankhurst, Heart IQ | 2023 |
| Genital De-Armoring Training | Rahi Chun | 2023 |
| Certified Sexological Bodyworker | Kian de la Cour & Katie Sarra, Sea School of Embodiment | 2022 |
| Certified Embodied Sex Coach | Kian de la Cour & Katie Sarra, Sea School of Embodiment | 2022 |
| Certified Consent Facilitator | Monica Baczynski & Erika Scott | 2022 |
| Doctorate in Education | University of Rochester | 2011 |
I am also a member of the worldwide Ecstatic Dance community, and I currently serve as Vice President of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers. I am deeply grateful to all my teachers, including those from my dance, yoga, and expressive arts therapy programs that I have not listed because of limited space and the decades that have passed.
How do I know if this is right for me?
You may want to try somatic sex education if you would like to explore your body, release negative messages you have absorbed, or work through sexual challenges.
The simplest first step is a free discovery call. You can ask questions and see whether we are a fit before you commit to anything. Book a call here.
I believe everyone deserves to understand their erotic energy and find joy and freedom from shame. Erotic energy is powerful, and mastery comes from learning how to invite and direct it rather than feeling intimidated by it. Freedom comes through discovering our edges, and discipline is what opens the door to that freedom.
Whatever you carry, you are welcome at Body as Home.
Key Takeaways
- Somatic sex education is consent-based, hands-on learning about your body, and sessions can include no touch at all.
- A first session lasts 1 to 1.5 hours and follows four steps: check-in, grounding, bodywork, and reflection.
- Sexual exchange between practitioner and client is never part of the work.
- Sessions are available in person in Lisbon and online by video call.
- I recommend at least four or five sessions for lasting change.
- A free discovery call helps you decide before booking.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is somatic sex education the same as therapy?
No. Sex and intimacy coaching is not psychotherapy. I am not a licensed social worker or marriage and family therapist, and I do not offer therapy, psychotherapy, or medical advice.
- Do I need to tell my partner about my solo sessions?
You are entitled to confidentiality, and I keep it as any therapist or doctor would. Many clients keep the sessions private at first. Over time the work will likely affect your relationship, so I will probably encourage you to talk with your partner or partners. At the right time, and only if you ask, I welcome a partner to attend a session.
- Can I do this work as a couple?
Yes. I support both individuals and couples, online and in person.
- What if I am a survivor of sexual trauma?
Healing after sexual trauma is one of the reasons people come to me. You set the pace and the limits, and I act as a compassionate witness.
- What if I only want to talk?
That is completely fine. A session can be discussion only, with no touch.
About the Author
Dr. Liz Ray is a certified somatic sex educator and intimacy coach based in Lisbon, Portugal, and the founder of Body as Home. She holds a Doctorate in Education from the University of Rochester (2011), is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Certified Consent Facilitator, and serves as Vice President of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers. Her work draws on 30+ years of somatic teaching through dance, yoga, and expressive arts therapy.
Website: drlizray.com | Book a free discovery call: tidycal.com/bodyashome
